i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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