this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
