they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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