Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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