I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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