She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize