I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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