dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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