I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
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no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
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And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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