she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
