How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
