what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
