quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
