Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
