i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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