i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
