a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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