This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
