sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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