He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize