i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
