afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
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he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
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True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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