I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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