we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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