i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
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Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
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You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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