Your tits are I can't wait for
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
