Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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