i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
