Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.

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(703): View more from Virginia

You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job

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(228): View more from Mississippi

thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase

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(303): View more from Colorado

Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text

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(602): View more from Arizona

Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick

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(947): View more from Michigan

Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?

(1-947): View more from Michigan

I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.

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