I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
