you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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