i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize