the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize