dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Let's paint friendship bongs
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
