she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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