Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
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