it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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