god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
there is glitter all over my balls
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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