can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
