so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
