Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
