Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
