fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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