her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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