Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize