You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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