He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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