you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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