I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
