the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
