I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
