9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
