Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
