Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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