first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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