and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
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About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
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I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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