Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
