bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
